“Oh, what is her name?” I asked my friend, as our walk ended. We watched her amble away, past my tower, into the next one.

“Shruti,” she replied.

“Right!” I slapped my forehead in frustration. “I was wracking my brains, when I saw her join us for the last round. I have spoken to her a couple of times, but totally forgot her name!”

“Arre! It happens to me too,” she consoled.

How often are we affected by these sudden memory lapses? Too often for comfort, I confess.

There was a time when I remembered telephone numbers by the dozen. In fact, I distinctly recall my grandparents turning to me, one hand poised on the dial, the other holding the handset, “Mithun, oi mashir number ki, ekbar bolo toh? What’s that aunt’s number? Can you say it once?” I would prance across the sitting room, gaily reciting.

It was a game for me. I would challenge myself with things to remember, from telephone numbers, dates, events, to names of relatives and their exact connection to me. I enjoyed testing my mind and would take pride in being able to recollect all accurately. Unfortunately, as I grew older, I forgot to continue playing.

With the growth of technology, we have become addicted to Google calendar, mobile contacts and social media friends’ list. We no longer take the trouble to remember anything, as we know that it’s just a click away. Consequently, our thoughts are scattered across a minefield of responsibilities. The bustling, the fretting, the haggling have overpowered our abilities to retain data.

Yet, I believe that the root cause is that we have stopped listening.

We just don’t have the time. Or we would like to believe that. No time to listen, empathise or even sympathise; we only have time for stress.

I’m reminded of my favourite poem, ‘Leisure’, by W. H. Davies:

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

We are constantly multi-tasking – homework / office work with music, chopping veggies with daily soaps, cooking with current news… The list in unending. A slave of the fast-paced lifestyle. A wannabe multi-talented, multi-cultured, world traveler.

We want the experience of ten lives in a single one.

Is that necessary?

The modern woman, especially, has so many balls to juggle, that she can drop one or two without too much collateral damage. The men too can let go of the social and peer pressures, to simply enjoy an interesting book.

How often do we hear the word Alzheimer these days? Twenty years ago, it was a rare phenomenon or rather an unknown one. In recent years, it’s almost an epidemic. Not only that, we are so cool about taking tablets for hysteria, claustrophobia, panic attacks and innumerable other fears.

What is happening to us? Why are we losing our minds?

Why can’t we just stop? Why can’t we pay attention?

In Hindi, we often say – Ek kaan se suno, dusre se nikalo / listen with one ear and let it go through the other. That is what is happening to our memory. Transformed into a sieve with large holes, it indiscriminately releases all that’s poured into it.

We must sew it back together. For I believe, only then, we will truly realise our potential and value the essential.

It’s been a couple of months now, that I noticed my increasingly frequent lapses. Alarmed, I went back to my game. Highlighting random incidents to recall, I promptly make mental associations and continuously test myself at intervals by discussing those events with the people involved.

I am not sure how much of my memorizing skills I can get back, but I certainly hope it does not further deteriorate. More than anything, it revives my self-esteem and gives me the confidence that I can handle any complicated situation with ease.

Memory lapses are in general harmless (such as forgetting an acquaintance’s name), but to me they are warning signs of a greater disease in society.

We need to cease speeding. Each person must find his way to stimulate his mind and sharpen his senses. Some do it by relaxing, others by exercising.

For Life, is more meaningful when we have moments to savour, friends who care and… memories to treasure.