Miki loves to go to the shops. Often, he accompanies his father, or our helpers, Neelam or Tania, to buy some daily essentials from the grocery store downstairs. His favourite things to buy are the ripe, red tomatoes. Therefore, even if we have enough tomatoes at home, at least one or two of them will appear after every foray.

One day, he was playing with my handbag, and a coin fell out from the open zip.

Afraid that he would put it in his mouth, I quickly stopped him and said, “Keep it back, Miki, it is for the shop uncle. We must pay him for the things we want to buy.”

In his baby language, interspersed with some English / Hindi / Bengali words, he spoke rapidly, “Oh… yes… we go there… then pick, pick, pick… Uncle is there… We drop the coins… (There is a cash machine at the store) … hmmm… ok…”

I was totally amazed at his observation and recollection. I assumed that on some occasions, he must have seen Neelam drop the coins in the machine (since we don’t carry cash, only she uses cash for the household purchases), and he remembered the process.  While talking, he replaced the coin inside the bag, then asked me to zip it back.

“So that it won’t fall out,” he said, communicating with broken words and action.  

The first thing he did was to go shopping. He pulled out a mini cart and started placing vegetables and fruits in it. Then he went to the cashier and asked me to show him what to do. Later, he went to the kitchen, washed his hands, and cooked some eggs. Eighty percent of the one-hour playtime was spent on this activity, and he seemed like a pro! As I watched, clicking photos, recording short videos for posterity (Miki loves watching those videos as well), I wondered if we were this alert, observant, and capable of mimicking adult activities at a similar age. I highly doubt it.

However, the ultimate coup de grâce struck two days ago, which propelled me to write this story.

Neelam had taken Miki to the shop around midday. As usual I was in the bedroom, on my phone when she left. Hearing Riki cry, I stepped out to check on her. She was playing with Tania and was refusing to get her hair tied. Giving her a quick peck on the head, I went to the kitchen, intending to finish some cooking that I had planned for the day. A few minutes later, I heard Neelam return with Miki. He dawdled in, talking non-stop. In a minute, he was standing next to me, asking to be picked up. These days, he sometimes sat on the kitchen counter, watching me cook. I explained every step, hoping to get him more interested in the food he eats, thereby increasing his appetite, leading to better overall growth.

“Oh wow, Miki, well done!” cried Neelam, scooping him up in her arms.

“Well done, shona!” I was a little shell-shocked.

“Wah, Miki!” piped Tania, sitting on the playmat with Riki (oblivious to the whole drama unfolding in front of her).

Miki beamed calmly, as if the act, he had just demonstrated, was not at all surprising. A two-year-old knew exactly where the purse was kept, and after returning from the shop, instead of just throwing it on the side, he had actually placed it back in its place.

Miki has always been a very sensitive boy, quiet, observant. Occasionally, we notice him watching with wide eyes, tracking our every move. Setting an example, by being an example, has never rung truer. It is scary, disturbing and overwhelming, because it immediately raises the bar for the parents. We need to own our actions, not by pretending, but by unlearning the negative ones, to adopting new, better, and deeply conscious ones. It won’t happen in a day, not in a week, maybe not in months, but if we know what needs to be done, the battle is half won.

One step at a time… A motto I find repeating to myself so very often, with calming breaths and a glance at some memorable photos in my phone (it helps to divert my mind).

For now, I am just a proud mom, trying her best to raise two little ones, to be happy, kind, and loving human beings!

Way to go Miki, waiting with bated breath for your next surprise!