Often people ask me, what am I doing?
I must be busy with the kids.
Leaving me to wonder, what exactly am I doing?
Most of the time, I cannot pinpoint a single thing of note.
And I wonder, what exactly am I doing?
Something?
Or Nothing?
Or Everything?
I really don’t know.
There is one thing I do know. I am collecting memories.
Thousands of them. Millions of them. Zillions of them. Collecting memories!
Welcome back to Daily Beats!
It has been a while since I last wrote an article in this section. Travel, life and health happened in between, but what didn’t happen was the sharing of those little moments that make life worth living.
Those moments are not necessarily linked to kids, nor family, nor achievements, nor goals (though 99% of the time, they are), but to anything that makes one laugh, makes one cry, makes one go aww, makes one believe in magic, or makes one stop and ask, “Wait! What was that?”
So, I decided to share, at long last, all the pent-up stories that gladdened our hearts and brought a teary twinkle in our eyes!
One evening, I was lounging in bed, when Miki rushed in and said, “Mumma, please come outside.”
Scrolling on the phone, I replied, “Hmmm!”
“Mumma, Mumma, come out now!” He insisted.
Looking up, still a little preoccupied, I reached out one arm, gesturing to help me stand.
Instead of clutching it, he gently tapped, saying, “You can do it, Mumma! You are a strong boy!”
Stunned, I burst out laughing. “Girl, girl!” I murmured.
“Strong girl! Come come, Mumma, you can do it!” Miki quipped, giggling.
Ha! He knew he was copying me!
Just like he copies us while posing for photos! We don’t know when or how he learnt it, but one fine day, when we asked him to stand still, he posed! And that’s when, for the first time, my heart missed a beat. My little baby was growing up. Too fast. Too soon.
And before long, he was sharing all his stories with us…
“Mumma, that’s a scooter,” he declared, pointing to a parked bike, while on his way to preschool. “Uncle in front. Aunty sit behind!”
Wow! Bingo! He noticed. He remembered.
“Miki big, go to office!” Miki announced, one afternoon, post lunch.
“Who will stay at home with Mumma?” I inquired.
“Papa!”
Amused, I thought, “I sure hope there is a lot of time for that to happen!”
We don’t want to grow old, if it means that the children will fly the nest! But who can seize Time!
“Neelam, where is the household purse?” I asked my helper one afternoon. “I need to check a bill.”
“Mam, it must be on the table. Miki was holding it on our way back from the shop.”
“It’s not there.”
“Huh! Where is it then?” Neelam came out of the kitchen to inspect. “Tania, did you see it?” She asked the other helper.
“No, Didi!”
“Miki, where did you keep the purse?” asked Neelam.
“Aunty!” Miki came running. “In the drawer!”
“Drawer?” We chorused.
Rising on his toes, Miki opened the buffet table’s drawer (the purse’s usual place). Tapping with his fingers, (he couldn’t even see inside!) he pulled it out.
“Wow, Miki, who put it inside?” I asked, stunned.
“Me!” He shouted and ran away, leaving us all speechless. He was barely 2 years old and yet, he knew where the important things were kept!
Soon, he was picking up on those little nuances in our conversations, and asking us, “Mumma, what happened?”
“Mumma, why are you sad?”
“Mumma, are you happy?”
He sensed each feeling, even before I can express it. Strengthening those invisible bonds, latching onto my heart, burying himself deep within – making me shed a few tears of pure joy and pride.
Miki’s observation skills were very acute. I experienced it again during his swimming lessons. As usual, we had completed his session, gotten dressed and were about to leave the building, when he went to the shoe rack, and lifted my pair of sandals.
“Mumma, these are for you!” He mumbled.
“Awww… Thank you, Miki!” I replied, surprised.
Without looking up, he took my helper’s shoes and gave them to her. “Aunty, wear them!”
We had not taught him to do this, nor did we expect it. He picked it up on his own – another manifestation of a toddler’s observational powers.
“Mumma! Mumma!” Riki hit the bedroom door.
“Yes, come in!” I called out.
The 15-month-old waddled in, pushed aside a pillow, and attempted to climb on to the bed on her own. Two pigtails bobbed excitedly. It was time for her ‘Eiya Eiya O’! (watching cartoons on nursery rhymes).
In my motherhood journey, there was one big lesson I learnt. However, different both my toddlers may be from each other, they were essentially creatures of habit – and thrived when a schedule, a timetable, or a pattern was followed.
“Riki, what does a penguin do?”
She tottered to the painting on the wall and pointed it out. It was a Christmas scene with a penguin and a snowman. Thrilled, she tapped her feet fast (like in a tap dance) and cooed, trying to imitate a penguin.
“Well done, Gundi!” I applauded, chuckling. “Now, the elephant!”
Again, she pointed to another painting, lifted an arm (just like the elephant’s trunk) and tried to reproduce its trumpet.
A quick learner, she keenly watches her elder brother, matching him step to step!
Her jaunty dance – knees half bent, bouncing to the rhythm, arms outstretched on either side – is a delightful jig!
Daredevil she may be, but she gives us the wettest kisses, the tightest hugs, and biggest grins (wrinkling her beautiful eyes) that brighten our moods and elevates all stress!
Her gleeful chortles, fearless attitude and ‘zidd’ frames her emerging personality – so does her endless love for her Dada! She is always kissing him, caressing his hair and waiting eagerly for his presence.
While Miki reciprocates by hugging her, calling her ‘cute’, and at times, patting and singing to her, while holding on to her milk bottle, as she gulps it down (imitating the caregivers).
“My Mei Mei!” He lays claim.
“Dada! Dada!” She rejoins.
The sibling bond, tested by fights, snatching, pushing and noisy tears – is an unexplained miracle!
Late one evening, I was lounging on the sofa, waiting for the children to storm in, full of energy after their playtime in the park downstairs.
Miki screamed, “Mumma!!!” Enveloping me in a bear hug, he chattered away.
Riki toddled over in a hurry and gave me a hug and a kiss on the thigh.
“Mumma, open! Open!” demanded Miki, shoving his water bottle in my hand.
Immediately Riki tried to grab it. “No, Riki, this is Dada’s!” I chastised. “Wait, we will get your bottle.”
Tania handed her a Philips Avent milk bottle, filled with water.
Immediately, Miki grabbed Riki’s hand.
With his other hand, he clinked both bottles, and said, “Cheers!”
For a moment, time stood still. I thought I had misheard, and asked, “Wait! What did you say?”
“Cheers,” he repeated, smiling, clinking both bottles again.
“Huh!” Shocked, I wondered how he had learnt the gesture? We don’t drink alcohol at home. And have never taken him anywhere where he could have seen people do so.
“Who taught you this?”
“Papa.”
“Papa!” I called out loud.
“Yes, coming,” he responded immediately, from the next room.
As soon as he was next to us, I said, “Miki, could you do that again please.”
He did it again.
“Miki said you taught him.”
“No, Miki, I didn’t.” Papa retorted surprised.
“Mumma taught me.” The mischief gleaming in his half smile.
“Rubbish! I have not.”
The tiny tots looked so cute, saying cheers, and drinking water.
“School!” We exclaimed together and burst out laughing. “Cheers!”
We waited many years to experience these moments. Some filled with frustration, some with self-doubts, many with fears, many with laughter, but most with gratitude.
Rahul leads a pretty hectic work life and the balance is often missing. I am a home maker, who frequently secludes herself in the bedroom to complete daily housekeeping tasks, read and / or write. Hence there are lengths of time, when we are away from the kids. More so, in his case than mine (I pop out every 30 minutes or so, to re-energise myself by hugging, playing and fooling around with Riki while Miki is in school). Consequently, late evenings are rambunctious and loud, with the four of us singing, dancing and playing together before they go off to bed.
Then peace descends.
The lights are dim.
A romance movie flashes on TV.
The whirling world pauses.
We breathe in. Deeply.
“Mumma! We are so lucky!” confesses Rahul. “Despite all the struggles at work, when I come home, all negativity disappears as soon Riki rushes towards me, calling out, Papa, and hugs my legs.”
Just as magical as when Riki says, “I ooo uuu!” with a big grin, every time we say, “I love you!”
Or when Miki insists on including everyone (our helpers too) in all our activities! (He does it every time, during every activity, during every conversation! He doesn’t know how to differentiate – what a blessing!)
Those relaxed moments of harmony, love and laughter, are the essential spices… sniffed, savoured and remembered forever before the little ones transform into adults, too busy to stand and stare!
Time never stops. Life whizzes by. Distances grow. Realities check in.
But every instant, spent with our toddlers, is like, an entire lifetime of precious memories – the Flavours of Life that makes us laugh, cry, sigh, scratch our heads in disbelief, and yet manifest and trust in Magic!
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